For the first 6 years of motherhood, I did not put myself first. Some of you may think how can someone neglect themselves. Trust me, it can happen when you’re a mother. It does happen to many of us. I know I am not alone, as so many mothers I have talked to, tell me they struggled to prioritise their needs as mother.
As a mother my number one need that I neglected was my mental health. Living abroad, with almost no helping hands around me, I was with my children 7 days a week, all day and night. It is a pain and struggle to drag all 3 children to one child’s doctor appointment. But I still do it because I didn’t have a choice. So, we just do it and struggle in silence because there’s no other option visible. So I ended up going to one therapy session for couple of weeks.
When we are struggling with mental health, and not talking about it, even we are not aware of it, we are being unfair with ourselves and with our kids. We are yelling at them, being aggressive, not spending quality time with them, not listening to them consciously and attentively. Don’t you think it is unfair?
As a women, we have tendency to downplay our struggles, we think that there are others that are worse off than we are, so in our minds we choose to believe that we don’t need any kind of assistance.
Living with symptoms of depression and anxiety has been normalised in our culture. Many women I was around had mental health issues, but these issues were never diagnosed and in fact they were ignored. And they are completely blind from it, even some women who knows their condition they says! It happens to everyone, don’t make a big issue. So it is labelled as acceptable.
Lack of childcare is one of the biggest reasons why women neglect their mental health and are unable to get help. So further more I would say women need a support system that allows them to attend therapy, or a community that is ready to step up and offer help.
Start giving a little me time for yourself, try to speak to your partner or someone who you trust, about what you’re feeling, and try to sort out the issues with talk and care.
Thank you for you time and if you have any questions let me know in the comments below.
Love and light always. 💕