My thoughts on parenting (in urdu)

Aaj subha se mere zehen mey boht sari sochen chal rhi hain aur wo sochen mujhe koi aur kam nhi krne de rheen. Is blog mey main bs apne khyalat ka izhar kron gi. Parenting k hwale se. Ye blog urdu mey hy Kyun k mujhe aisa lgta hy k main apne emotions apni mother language mey ziada clearly describe kr skti hon.

Main galat bhe ho skti hon, aap ko agr interest ho to aap zror prhey aur apni thoughts share krey agr koi swal ho to zror pochey aur agr kaheen main galat hon to zror btaey.

Parenting kya hy? Ye ek process hy apne bachy/bachon ki upbringing ka aur unki physical, emotional, psychological, social and intellectual development ko promote krne ka aur support krne ka process.

Jab ek baby born hota hy us waqt Kya wo parents ready hoty hain parenting k liey? Kya wo aware hoty hain k parenting akhir hy Kya? Hum ne upbringing kese krni hy? Kese support krna hy apne bachy ki emotional needs ko as well as physical needs? Iska jwab hy nahi. Hum bilkul bhe ready nhi hoty. Kyun k parenting koi subject nhi hy jis mey degree lene se humen kuch baaton ki awareness ho gi ya hum expert ho jaen gy.

Main 3 bachon ki mother hon, jab mera 1st baby hua us waqt meri age 22 thi. Mujhe bilkul bhe idea nhi tha k parenting k basic asool Kya hain, ya kin baaton ka khyal rkhna zrori hota hy bachy ki age k sath sath. But mujh mey ye khwaish thi k main best parenting krn. Lekin sirf khwahish se kuch nhi hua. Mujhe guidance chahey thi, jo start mey nhi mili jab bachy choty thay. Boht mistakes hui mujhse. Mujhe nhi pta tha k emotionally support kese krty hain bachy ko, discipline kese ata hy bachy mey and isi trha k aur parenting issues. 3 choty bachon ko sambhalna, schooling bhe dekhna, kitchen bhe dekhna ye sb frustrating lgta tha mujhe. Aur sadly, is doran main wo parenting tactics use kr rhi thi jo kabhi mere parents ne mere childhood mey use kiey thay.

Main jb dekhti hon parents ko k wo bachy ko control krna chahty hain bs, unka mindset ye hota hy k hum apna control rkhen is per. Ye happy ho, sad ho, khara ho ya so jaey, khana khaey jo bhe kre bs hmari mrzi se kre. Aisa nhi hota. Meri nazar mey bacha parents se door hota jata hy. Bachy ko is baat se Kya lge k aap k financial halaat kese hain! Aap k personal matters achy chal rhy hain ya nhi, aap ko aap ki saas ne kuch keh dia hy, aap ko sara din ghr ka kam krna prta hy etc etc. Bachy ye nhi smjh paty Kyun k wo bachy hain. Unka mental level abhi itna nhi k wo in sb baaton ko understand kr sken.

Parents ye nhi dekhty k aap ne kitna input dia hy apna. Kitna time dia hy apne bachy ko everyday. Kitni bar uski silly baaten suni hain. Din mey kitna time baaten ki hain bachy se. Chahay wo 5 years ka hy ya 15 years ka. Aur bachy ka mtlab beta aur beti dono hain. Mujhe boht dukh hota hy jab main ye sochti hn k mere parents ne kese upbringing ki, boht sari important baaton ka khyal nhi rkha.

Jab parents apne bachy ko khud time nhi dety to bachy wo missing kisi aur source se fulfil kr lety hain. Wo apne parents se baaten chupa kr friends ko btate hain. Apni feelings emotions friends se share krty hain. Aisa Kyun? Iski wja Sirf yehi hy k unko sunnay wala koi nhi hota, unko smjhne wala koi nhi hota. Parents apne apne msail le kr bethy rehty hain, unke pas time he nhi hota, ya Wo apne relatives ko khush krne mey lage rehty hain.

Yehi cheez kaheen na kaheen mujh mey bhe dekhi mene, jb mere bachy huy. Lekin main isko Allah ka karam smjhti hon k mene jaldi apni mistakes ko theek kr lia. Learn kia. Apna bachpan yad kia aur socha k jo mistakes ya missing meri upbringing mey reh gae Kya main ye chahti hon k mere bachon mey bhe wo kami reh jae? Bilkul nhi.

Main ye nhi kehti k aisy parents apne bachon se pyar nhi krty ya wo intentionally aisi upbringing krty hain. Unko awareness nhi hoti, aur wo khud ko aware krna bhe nhi chahty. Mene boht se aisy parents bhe dekhy hain jo aisi mehfil mey bethne se avoid krty hain Jahan is trha ki talk ho rhi ho k parenting mey Kya baaten important hoti hain aur parents ko apna behaviour change kese krna prta hy etc.

Parenting ek boht important aur bara topic hy. Isko aik blog mey likhna mushkil bhe hy aur na-insafi bhe. As a pakistani parent aap ko andaza ho ga k mene is blog mey Kya btane k koshish ki hy. Kyun k main is topic per mazeed write kron gi inshallah.

Mujhe boht khushi ho gi aur meri boht help bhe ho gi agr aap mujh se share kren k aap ko kin problems ka samna krna prta hy parenting mey? Like baki ghar walon ki interruption or influence or anything jo aap ko bother krti hy.

Thank you for reading.

Love and light always. 🧡

Published by kaynat24

Mum, independent woman, love reading and learning something new everyday 😊 Mindful living

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